15 Things you should never say to “Working moms”
Motherhood as we know is very demanding. And if you are working mom things can only get more challenging. You might already be feeling guilty for not being able to spend adequate time with kids, worrying about meeting with clients and work pressure, issues with inlaws. And on top of that if someone makes a sarcastic remark, it can get on your nerves. Best is to ignore such harsh comments, because you know deep down that what you are doing is right for you and your children’s future. No one is in an ideal situation and many a times you have to make tough decisions. (15 things you should never say to “stay at home moms”)
So here is a list of 15 things that you should avoid saying to women who work outside home , and what working moms have to say in response to such statements.
- You must be missing all those special moments. Yes, I might be missing on some of the moments. But special moments can be created in day to day life. I try to spend quality time with their kids. Once I am off from office, my priority is very clear.
- You must be feeling guilty as you are not able spent time with kids. Now do not start that debate all over again. I have given it a long thought and after discussion with my family, I have taken this tough and important decision.
- Your husband was earning fine then why you have to work. Why should I discuss my financial condition with you? There are lots of factors that decide the future. I have to look at the increasing expenditure with kids going to school, medical expenses etc.
- You want to run away from your responsibility of taking care of kids and home.Every mother wants to spend as much time as possible with their kids. My responsibilities increase as I have to work at office as well as take care of my kids.
- You do not love your kids, as much as moms who decide to stay at home. It is really heart-breaking to listen to such statements. How can you quantify my love for my children? Every mother loves her children equally. My love for my kids does not decrease if I start working.
- Your priority is your professional growth rather than your kids. I am a human being. I have my professional ambitions as well, so what is wrong in it? Why is it that only the mother is expected to compromise on her career, why cannot fathers cut down on their jobs and spend time with kids? And working for professional growth does not mean that kids are not my priority. I have to juggle many lives and my kids will always be my first priority.
- You hate household work. I take care of all the things as far as possible, right from making breakfast, to getting kids ready for school, going to office etc.
- You want an easy way out and have fun at office. It increases my burden; and work comes with lots of pressure. It’s never easy for working women.
- Do you really have to work? Not everyone works by choice; sometimes we are in situations that make working outside the home unavoidable.
- I would not want anyone else to raise my kids. Neither do I. But circumstances are very different in every family. And sometimes we have to make tough choices.
- You look so tired. Of course I am tired. And thanks for noticing the dark circles below my eyes (I am already aware of them). Unless you are here to help me with dinner or kids you better not comment on my physical appearance.
- I can’t trust a babysitter or crèche. It is not by choice but by compulsion that I have to do it. And I make sure I do my best to find a reliable source of care for my children.
- I hated when my Mom was never home after school like everyone else’s Mom. I make sure my kids understand the need. I make sure that we more than make up for it during weekends.
- We sacrificed a lot of luxuries in our life so that I can stay home to my babies. Every home has different financial situation. I am not doing job so that I can buy a sports car or luxury villa. Most of it goes in EMI, school fee, household stuff.
- You are lucky to get a break whole day from your kids. I am not at office to take a break. My workload increases as I join office. I have different sets of demands and challenges. I have to juggle lot of things in order to get everything going smoothly.
Honestly speaking neither situation is easy. Both sets of moms face challenges day in and day out and insensitive comments from others can only make things worse. Everyone faces different circumstances and different phases in life. We should respect every mother’s decision.
So I would like to conclude by saying that
“Whether she is a stay-at home or working mother, a mother is a mother, and those special moments with their children are what carry them through the hard times and make everything they do worthwhile”.
Dr Rahul Varma