Tag Archives: behavior issues children

Ways to Get Your Toddler’s Attention and Keep It

toddler_mayaclinic.in

You might have experienced this- you are reading aloud a book to your 15-month- old kid and halfway through she wanders away across the room towards the bookshelf. Well! This is a perfectly normal behaviour for her. Psychologists explain that toddlers are innately distractible. They cannot stick on with one thing as long as an older child or adults can. After a couple of minutes, they venture in search of other things. Besides, another reason for your toddler to not comply with your instructions is that she is taking the first step towards becoming her own person. She is walking her way to independence and may tend to do exactly the opposite of what you might have suggested to her.

Read on to find simple ways to get attention of your toddler and have them be seated for a couple minutes to play with a toy or draw etc.

  • First and foremost, is your time. If you want results, it require good quality time. Take time out from your social networking and other stuff and focus on your child’s future. Father’s too have equal responsibility to take out time.
  • Get down to their level to talk to them. Squat down or pick them up, make an eye contact to get their attention to what you have to say.
  • Put in confident good humor in your language. Use silly voices, make up tunes to sentences or sing your instructions to them. For example, if you want to tell them, ‘It’s time to take a bath’, just sing it to them. This will intrigue them to listen to you. Always remember, yelling instructions may get the work done, but no one enjoys the process of doing it.
  • Never impose your choice of play or activity on them. Let them choose what they want for themselves. This makes them pay more attention to things they do while enjoying the task.
  • Television or videos are a complete ‘No No’ in the first two years of a child’s life. In fact, TV, rattles and other noise-making toys overwhelm a child’s attention rather than encouraging the child to actively flex his/her muscles to focus. On the contrary, give them toys that are more open-ended so that they can curiously engage in them with more than one special sense.

Children enjoy games. Engage with them in fun-filled games so that they learn to pay attention. Here are few games you can play with your children:

  • Make hand puppets or finger puppets and use them to give simple instructions (like clap your hands, spin around, etc) to your child. It paves the path for the budding independence of the child as it is a friendly puppet that is instructing them.
  • Go on a treasure hunt with them. This way they learn to follow two- to three-step instructions as well.
  • Mimic voices. Draw the child’s attention to the distantly heard voices and then both of you can mimic it one by one.
  • Use flashlight to focus on different objects in a dark room and let them name them.
  • Last but not the least, model good behavior. Listen to them respectfully and they will learn to be good listeners.

A long attention span is vital for creative, athletic and academic achievement. Attentive listeners make the best friends, spouses and parents. The basic skills of focusing and concentrating learnt in the first few years of life go a long way to help them deal with difficult problems of life and pursue their dreams.

Coping with Stress in Kids

 

How to cope with stress in Kids?

Question: To many of us, childhood might seem a very carefree time without any stress. Kids do not have to pay bills, think about job, relationship etc. SO what could kids be worried about?

Answer: Plenty!!!

Every kid worries a lot and has plenty to stress about.

Source of Stress for kids:

  • Sepration Anxiety: When starts going to day care to preschool
  • Too busy a schedule for kids: Many parents overschedule their kids with lots of extracurricular activities (many a times to fulfill their dreams rather than kids)
  • Parental discord or distress: Parents should watchful when they discuss their professional issues or personal issues at home when kids are nearby (as kids are always watching or listening).
  • Media/ TV Screen: media can provide disturbing videos or images which can cause distress to the child.

 

Let your kids know that you understand they’re stressed and don’t dismiss their feelings as inappropriate.

As a parent, you can’t protect your kids from stress — but you can help them develop healthy ways to cope with stress and solve everyday problems.

Signs/ Symptoms:

  • Change in moods, change in sleep pattern, bed wetting, thumb sucking , change in academic performance etc
  • Some kids might even complaint of stomachache or bodyache too

 

Kids deal with stress in both healthy and unhealthy ways. And while they may not initiate a conversation about what’s bothering them, they do want their parents to reach out and help them cope with their troubles.

How to manage stress in kids?

It’s not always easy for parents to know what to do for a child who’s feeling stressed.

Most important is to spend Quality time with your kids. By quality time I mean doing what kids want, rather than making them do what is easier for you.

Proper rest and good nutrition will help in coping with stress better.

Some of the things which you can try are:

  • Notice out loud.Tell your child when you notice that something’s bothering him or her. If you can, name the feeling you think your child is experiencing. (“It seems like you’re still mad about what happened at the playground.”) This shouldn’t sound like an accusation (as in, “OK, what happened now? Are you still mad about that?”) or put a child on the spot. It’s just a casual observation that you’re interested in hearing more about your child’s concern. Be sympathetic and show you care and want to understand.
  • Listen to your child.Ask your child to tell you what’s wrong. Listen attentively and calmly — with interest, patience, openness, and caring. Avoid any urge to judge, blame, lecture, or say what you think your child should have done instead. The idea is to let your child’s concerns (and feelings) be heard. Try to get the whole story by asking questions like “And then what happened?” Take your time. And let your child take his or her time, too.
  • Comment briefly on the feelings you think your child was experiencing.For example, you might say “That must have been upsetting,” “No wonder you felt mad when they wouldn’t let you in the game,” or “That must have seemed unfair to you.” Doing this shows that you understand what your child felt, why, and that you care. Feeling understood and listened to helps your child feel supported by you, and that is especially important in times of stress.
  • Put a label on it.Many younger kids do not yet have words for their feelings. If your child seems angry or frustrated, use those words to help him or her learn to identify the emotions by name. Putting feelings into words helps kids communicate and develop emotional awareness — the ability to recognize their own emotional states. Kids who can do so are less likely to reach the behavioral boiling point where strong emotions come out through behaviors rather than communicated with words.
  • Help your child think of things to do.If there’s a specific problem that’s causing stress, talk together about what to do. Encourage your child to think of a couple of ideas. You can start the brainstorming if necessary, but don’t do all the work. Your child’s active participation will build confidence. Support the good ideas and add to them as needed. Ask, “How do you think this will work?”
  • Listen and move on.Sometimes talking and listening and feeling understood is all that’s needed to help a child’s frustrations begin to melt away. Afterward, try changing the subject and moving on to something more positive and relaxing. Help your child think of something to do to feel better. Don’t give the problem more attention than it deserves.
  • Limit stress where possible.If certain situations are causing stress, see if there are ways to change things. For instance, if too many after-school activities consistently cause homework stress, it might be necessary to limit activities to leave time and energy for homework.
  • Just be there.Kids don’t always feel like talking about what’s bothering them. Sometimes that’s OK. Let your kids know you’ll be there when they do feel like talking. Even when kids don’t want to talk, they usually don’t want parents to leave them alone. You can help your child feel better just by being there — keeping him or her company, spending time together. So if you notice that your child seems to be down in the dumps, stressed, or having a bad day — but doesn’t feel like talking — initiate something you can do together. Take a walk, watch a movie, shoot some hoops, or bake some cookies. Isn’t it nice to know that your presence really counts?
  • Be patient.As a parent, it hurts to see your child unhappy or stressed. But try to resist the urge to fix every problem. Instead, focus on helping your child, slowly but surely, grow into a good problem-solver — a kid who knows how to roll with life’s ups and downs, put feelings into words, calm down when needed, and bounce back to try again.

 

Parents can’t solve every problem as kids go through life. But by teaching healthy coping strategies, you’ll prepare your kids to manage the stresses that come in the future.

Most parents have the skills to deal with their child’s stress. The time to seek professional attention is when any change in behavior persists, when stress is causing serious anxiety, or when the behavior causes significant problems at school or at home.

 

(Many of the above lines are copied from various other website. The purpose of this article is to create awareness among parents).

 

Regards

Dr Rahul Varma

New to Nursery ? Helping kids adjust to school

school kids

New Season of School has started in most schools in India. Lots of parents must be sending their little angels to big school for the first time. Most parents and kids would be excited and many would be nervous.

Few tips regarding our young kids while sending them to school for the first time:

  • Get them mentally prepared. Tell them positive things about school. Your kids should be excited to go to school rather than being scared or apprehensive about it.
  • Tell them you are just around the corner and will come whenever needed. And during school hours their teachers will take care of them.
  • Separation Anxiety is integral part of development which needs to dealt with patiently. Separation anxiety in kids
  • BREAKFAST is the most important meal of the day. Make sure that your child as well as you have it together in the morning. A healthy breakfast will boost your immunity as well bonding with your kids.
  • Encourage them and support them at every step.
  • Talk to your child; try to spend quality time with your kids. LISTEN to them rather and ask them open-ended questions.
  • Let them open up to you. They might not be able to express things well and might be emphasizing on very small things which you might find not important. But remember, for them these small things might be more important than you think. And it will encourage them to share more important things with you once they grow up.
  • Show them that you are listening intently. Maintain eye to eye contact with them as they talk.
  • Talking daily and discussing things as a daily routine will help you tackle BULLYING in school as well.
  • Educate kids regarding Good touch and Bad touch to guard them against Sexual harassment. Discuss with kids regularly and ask them to talk to you whenever anyone touches them in private parts. 

    Prevent Against Sexual abuse in Children

  •  Most important is to go with the flow and do not worry too much. Have faith in your abilities.
  • Try to inculcate good habits in your kids and always lead by example.

 

Feel free to contact your child specialist or MAYA CLINIC, regarding any queries

regards

Dr Rahul Varma