Tag Archives: parenting tips

15 Things which you should not say to “Stay at HOME MOMS”

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Moms who decide to stay at home are in no way inferior to moms who work. If they are staying at home, it does not mean that they are not smart enough to work outside. It’s a Choice which they have made voluntarily, so that they can spend quality time with their kids and family. (15 things you should never say to “working moms”) 

Parenting is a full time job. And many mothers opt to stay at home to take good care of their baby. Many a times thoughtless words from observers can hurt feelings of “stay at home moms”. Honestly speaking both set of moms face challenges and no one has an easy life. In this blog will focus on Home moms and next blog will focus on challenges faced by working mothers.

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Here I am listing few statements which are commonly made by friends and relative which should best be avoided when talking to Home moms.

  1. So you are just a MOM: Any person making such foolish statement must never have raised a baby. We all know it is a full time job (24X7X365 days).

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  1. Why did you wasted money on studies and got a degree if you were planning to sit at home: Purpose of getting a degree is not only to earn good money rather it is to become a good human being who can inculcate good habits in next generation. And any day if need arise, they can get back to work.
  2. You husband must be earning a lot, so that you can relax at home: Any family where mom decides to stay at home make a lot of sacrifices in order to spend quality time with kids. It does not mean they earn a lot, it means they spend wisely. And besides mom is working full time at home, not relaxing.

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  1. You are lucky you do not have to work: No mom who decides to stay at home is sitting idle. They are on their toes all the time. They are working constantly. They have to look after meals for baby, do laundry, arrange stuff, do grocery, fix appointment with doctor and the list is endless.
  1. I can never stay at home, I need a life: All the ladies need life. Everyone loves to spend time with people, look for intellectual discussion, adult talk. That is why their sacrifice is more evident; isn’t it.

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  1. Your home should be spotless if spend whole day at home. Home mothers have whole lot of things to do. Priority is always kids, their health and their intellectual development, sensory as well as motor development. Kids will always be making a mess of home. Drawing on wall, cloths here and there, sussu & potty, spitting out meals, laundry etc.
  1. As you are home mom and you have lot of time, could you help me with…..? Friendly neighbors might always be looking to take advantage of you in order to get their stuff done.
  1. You must be enjoying and spending lot of time with friends and on social networking. Those who think, staying at home means plenty of time for themselves are mistaken big time. Reality is that many a time it gets worse, as moms too need a break.

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  1. If you are tired, why do you not sleep when your baby takes a nap. When baby sleep, moms usually have a long list of “to do things”. Prepare a meal, do the laundry, fold the cloth, look after mother in law and other elders at home and the list is endless.
  1. What do you do with all the free time you have; I will get bored staying at home. Believe me, you won’t know where time flies. If you are really looking after your babies 24 hours a day will be less.
  1. My husband is not that rich, I cannot afford to stay at home. Nobody minds extra money to spend and it’s never enough. Moms who decide to stay at home plans to spend wisely and are willing to make sacrifices in life.
  1. So this is the reason your baby is so clingy and cannot live without you. Babies always like to stay with person whom so ever spends the most quality time with them. It could be caregiver in case of working moms (eg grandmother, or even maid).

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  1. When are planning to get real job in life. Home moms will always tell you that “This is the real life”. Turning a little kid into a grown up responsible and sensible adult is the real job (or toughest job). Inculcating good habits in kids, encouraging your child to do good for humanity and good for society is tough in present circumstances.
  1. Had I been home, my house would be neat and clean. Then why do you try it. It’s all about priority. Babies will write all over the wall, spill milk, do hell lot of stuff to turn house upside down.
  1. That explains why you look so mumsy? Home moms never groom up properly. It does not mean they cannot or they do not want to. It’s just they want to dress the way it is most comfortable for them and their babies. So that they can feed them properly, do household stuff.

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It’s a big sacrifice a mother is making for her kids and family. We should always RESPECT “Home moms” and appreciate them rather than criticizing or making sarcastic remarks.

Working 24X 7 X 365 days a year without any financial gain is a big task; not many have the capability or patience to do that.

I ask many moms than what is the reward for which you work? What is the driving force which keeps you going?

Answer is simple, loud and clear. “Smile of my little angels face” which makes them forgets everything and wipes away all the tears and gives them energy to go on and on”

 

 

Regards

Dr Rahul Varma

“Healthy moms, Healthy Kids”

 

 

Must read for first time parents

Must read for all first time parents

Trust yourself:

You know more than you think you do:

You want to be the best parent you can be but it`s not clear what`s best. Everywhere you turn there are experts telling you what to do. The problem is, they often don’t agree with each other. The world is different from how it was 20 years ago, and the old answers might not work anymore. We were brought up on traditional Indian diet whereas now you cannot get away from cosmopolitan culture and multiple cuisines available. Now more and more nuclear families are coming up, so grandparental guidance is not there.

Don`t take too seriously all that the neighbors or well wishers say. Don`t be overawed by what experts say. Don`t be afraid to trust your own common sense. Bringing up your child won`t be a complicated job if you take it easy and trust your instincts. (Remember baby is a part of you only). The natural loving care that parents give their children is a hundred times more important than their knowing how to make a diaper fit tightly or just when to introduce solid foods. Every time you pick your baby up- even if you do it little awkwardly at first- and change baby`s cloths, bathe ,feed ,smile , baby is getting the feeling that he/she belongs to you and that you belong to them.

The more people have studied different methods of bringing up children, the more they have come to the conclusion that what good mothers and fathers instinctively fee like doing for their babies is usually the best.

So better to relax and make a few mistakes than to try too hard to be perfect.

Enjoy your parenthood. This time is not going to come back. Upbringing of a child is most pleasurable job and spending quality time with your child is important.

For specific query you can write to us and also keep track of future update on blog and patient update.

Stay healthy

Regards

Dr RahulVarma